Category archives: heartbeats

Chasing Heartbeats Print Shop

Chasing Heartbeats Print Shop

After having several (very lovely) readers tell me they were interested in buying prints of my photos, I finally got around to opening a little online print shop.  I will be adding more prints over the weekend and will try and keep the shop updated with favorite images from life and our travels around Europe.  All images are printed on Hahnemühle Photo Rag which has beautiful texture and makes the most beautiful prints.  Custom prints and sizes available upon request.

Chasing Heartbeats Print Shop

on comprehending loss

You all know that I try and keep this blog an upbeat and positive place of the internet, but this week has been insanely difficult.  Yesterday the world lost a shining light- one of the most loving, generous and wonderful people I have ever known, who will be missed beyond measure.  I am not even sure as I write this that I am able to truly comprehend what I am typing, and that this is not just a terrible dream.  And while I have loads of lovely things to share from our recent travels, it just doesn’t feel right to be posting any of it right now.  So instead of leaving the blog quiet, I will be sharing some of my favorite photos from my portfolio this week which have never been posted here before.  xo

Lilies in Cape Cod, 2008

things I'm afraid to tell you....

I was incredibly inspired by these “things I’m afraid to tell you” posts around the blog world last week, which started in an effort to bring some transparency to bloggers by Ez from Creature Comforts.   I let this post hang out as a draft since Friday because I wasn’t sure I wanted to press publish.  I think last night’s lack of sleep is the reason I feel so brave this morning.  I usually don’t get too personal here, I think because I share so many personal photos, I keep the written insights of our lives to a minimum to maintain a bit of privacy.  Sometimes that feels stupid.  Other times it seems right.  Sometimes I think about how strange is it that I feel much more comfortable sharing my life here on my blog than I do on my own facebook page.  The blog world is sometimes strange, but in my experience it is also pretty amazing, and full of such lovely and supportive people.  So here are a few things I would never normally share with strangers (especially without a glass of wine):

// I am learning to accept the fact that depression will probably always be a part of my life.  Learning to deal with it and acknowledge its place in my daily life is a struggle, but a challenge I am trying to both understand and balance.  Yoga and a very supportive husband help keep my bad days to a minimum, but I don’t think they will ever really go away.

// The thought of moving back to the US terrifies me, and I don’t really know why.  Two days into my trip home in February I was looking at apartments in San Francisco, then I suddenly wanted to teleport back to Berlin.  It breaks my heart to be so far away from the people I love, but Europe feels more like home at this point in my life.  It is a point that Andreas and I don’t always see eye to eye on.

// The last few months have been simultaneously great and incredibly difficult.

// No one will tell you that during the first few weeks of owning a puppy, you might think you made a terrible decision.  Hazel made me cry at least one time.  Fortunately those weeks seem to be behind us :)

// After years of freelancing beside my full time job, I am finally going 100% freelance and throwing myself into my wedding photography business- and it is absolutely terrifying.

// Living abroad has destroyed my grammar.  I know I can only blame myself for that, but I am incredibly embarrassed by the amount of mistakes I now make when both speaking and writing in English.  (this would also hold true for German as well)

// I am at times (more often than not) incredibly socially awkward.

// Working from home means that during the week, more often than not, I am probably wearing some sort of spandex.  Somedays I shower at 5pm.

// Missing my friends and family has begun to feel normal, and I think I have learned to desensitize myself in order to live so far away.  that scares me immensely.

// We have lived in our apartment since the new year and are still have boxes hiding behind the couch which need to be unpacked.  And we still have a fair amount of furniture to buy, and curtains to hang…

// I have dyed my hair since I was 17 going from platinum blonde to black and pretty much everything in between.  Now I actually have a reason to dye my hair, as I have a colony of grey which hang out directly in my part line.  It almost makes me want to go back to my natural blonde so the grey will be easier disguised.  **& for the record, I think grey hair is gorgeous and wish I could let mine show, but I feel like my wrinkles age me enough already.  Maybe someday I will be brave enough.

Some of my friends wrote these posts as well and pushed me to be brave enough to write one for myself- thank you blog friends for being so wonderful. and for reading :)

T W O !

Chasing Heartbeats is 2 years old today!  When I started this blog, I was looking for a bit of motivation to pick up my camera outside of work and document my life in Germany.  I had no idea how to blog or if anyone would read this besides my mama.  The last 2 years of blogging has brought so many wonderful new friends into my life and I feel truly blessed to be a part of this amazing blogging community filled with the most inspiring, talented, and ridiculously creative people.  Thank you for reading and for all the love and support you have shown me, they were a pretty amazing and incredible two years!

just a couple of my favorite moments this little blog has documented over the last two years:
Our Wedding | Starting 2012 in Berlin

AND, in celebration of two years blogging, I finally got around to creating a facebook page! Like it here :)

birthday boy

Happy Birthday to the greatest man I know, I feel so lucky to be able to call you both my husband and my best friend.  I know you are less than excited about saying goodbye to your 20’s… but I for one think the next decade will be even better than the last, and I am so happy to be able to spend it with you.  Happy 30!  Ich liebe dich!

top photo by me  bottom photo by davina + daniel

wedding part 1

I was never a girl who dreamt about my wedding.  To be completely honest, the idea of marriage was something I hardly even thought about before I met Andreas, and it was something we talked about after only months of knowing each other.  And it made (makes) sense with him.  Spending the rest of my days by his side is a thought that still makes me giddy.

When we got engaged last year we both knew we wanted a laid-back, intimate celebration where our friends and family could get to know one another over a long weekend in Cape Cod.  The location was perfect for a lot of reasons.  One, it is almost half way between our two homes.  Two, it is where we got engaged and one of my favorite places in the whole world.  And lastly, because my family has a long history in Cape Cod- the land we own there was purchased in British Pounds and has stayed in our family for generations.  We wanted our friends and family to make a vacation out of the wedding and have a chance to enjoy all the things we love about cape cod, and we wanted to find a place where we could house all of the guests and have the wedding celebration.  Amazingly, the venue we chose for the wedding neighbors my family’s property, and is a small grouping of lake side cottages where most of our guests also stayed, and is actually not a wedding venue at all.  It was perfect.

We decided to break with tradition and start the wedding off with a cocktail hour because I liked the idea of our guests being able to relax and mingle before the ceremony.  Having the cocktail hour first also gave us the chance to go out for a post ceremony boat ride at sunset, which was a crazy wedding dream I had, which turned out picture perfect (photos I will share soon).

I walked “down the aisle” with my parents by my side to our favorite song, “Heartbeats” by Jose Gonzalez, performed by an amazingly talented local jazz musician.  My uncle Richard officiated the ceremony and created an actual “tying of the knot” for the ceremony- where each guest wrote their name on a piece of rope and they were tied together to create a circle of knots, symbolizing the fact that our family and friends are now tied together and we are all connected by our love.   The ceremony itself was very short (just how we wanted it) and had a few bursts of laughter tucked in, one when I mistakenly thought Andreas called me his husband in German.  oops.  I would say we accomplished our goal of not having a boring ceremony :)

We celebrated our first few moments being husband and wife with a champagne toast and afterwards were engulfed in hugs and kisses from all of our friends and family, which was one of my favorite moments of the day.  The feeling of being literally surrounded by love.
party photos to come soon!

photos by our incredibly talented photographers Davina + Daniel

Venue: Gibson’s on the Pond
Caterer: Sumptuous Catering
Photographers: Davina and Daniel
Wedding Dress:  Monique Lhuillier & Cocktail Dress:  Antik Batik
My Shoes:  Badgley Mischka
The Louboutins I had purchased would have be ruined from the rain :( These back-up shoes arrived on Friday morning… Thank you Zappos!
Flowers:  Flowers by Mary
Andreas’s Suit:  J.Crew
>Andreas’s Shoes:  H by Hudson
Hair:  tj hazzard
Rings:  Kevin Main Jewelry
Wedding Pies:  Cottage Street Bakery & Marion’s Pie Shop

Ceremony Musician:  Fred Fried

view part 2 of our wedding photos here

"Rehearsal" Clambake Dinner

I showed up to dinner and Cydney & I were wearing almost the exact same outfit, just opposites.  Obviously why we are friends :)
We started our wedding weekend off with a traditional Cape Cod clambake on Friday night, and stuffed our faces with lobster, sausage, clams, mussels corn on the cob and my dad and brother’s amazing BBQ, and it was DELICIOUS.  After a busy busy week of wedding planning it was incredible to sit down and enjoy a meal with our nearest and dearest and let any of the stresses of organizing a wedding melt away.  It was the perfect start to what was without a doubt, the best weekend of my life, completely surrounded by love.

I promise I will post some actual wedding photos soon!  We have almost a thousand, and there are so many that I LOVE, I will need to spend the weekend picking my favorites to share :)

The Clambake was catered by Treats Catering– If anyone ever needs a caterer in Cape Cod, I highly recommend them!  Great Service and Amazing food.  Looking at these pictures make me hungry….

** rehearsal is in quotes, because there was no rehearsing.. although looking back, it might have been a good idea….

photos by Davina + Daniel  (who we also highly recommend, amazing amazing photographers!)

bachelorette #1

While we were in San Francisco, some of my friends threw me a surprise Bachelorette party.  We cruised around the bay on a sailboat drinking champagne and were treated to dinner by my friend Carrie (who is an amazing cook) all while wearing the super chic life-vests the captain required us to wear :)  We were also lucky enough to be joined by our friend Julie who photographed the evening for us, so we have fabulous photos to remember the trip  (talented friends are the BEST!).
After the sailing trip, we went back to Courtney’s house where they had covered the walls in photos from our 20 years of friendship.  We laughed until we cried at all of our crazy adventures over the years and at some of the very questionable fashion choices and hairstyles we all fell victim to (the 90’s were rough).  It was a fabulous evening with amazing friends, who despite the distance continue to be an incredibly supportive extended family who I am extremely thankful to have in my life.

photography by Julie Bullock

one year

Friday marked one year of blogging here at Chasing Heartbeats, and what better way to celebrate than with these masterpieces disguised as cake, created by Maggie Austin.  Amazing, right?  I started this blog to encourage myself to take my camera out more and document our lives and adventures to share with family and friends.  It has turned into something I truly cherish and along the way brought me new fabulous blog friends who are a constant source of inspiration.  I SO appreciate your sweet comments, and I can’t thank you enough for the support you have shown me.  Looking forward, this year definitely has some big changes in store for us, so stay tuned :)